So.....what are we?

It’s that dreaded question. The question that you want to ask but are too scared to. The question that plays on your lips, having gone on several dates over a couple of months but there’s been absolutely no formalization of whatever ‘arrangement’ you have. You’re in what I like to call the ‘Grey Zone’ or the ‘Twilight Zone’ where you have absolutely no clue what the hell is happening.

People often tell me that the first 3 months of dating are the best… I’m like seriously? Because I just want to skip the part which is full of uncertainty to get to that point where you feel safe, where you can make future plans together without fear that you’re not going to be ghosted or benched in the next few weeks.

The first 3 months for me and a lot of people I’ve spoken to, are filled with overthinking and over analyzing. But maybe that’s because we’ve simply just been with the wrong people. The anxiousness over whether you should send that text, ask them out, whether you need to wait five minutes to reply so as to not seem to keen but you are actually keen just seems ridiculous. The worry as to whether they’re seeing other people and whether you should see other people too just because they are. There’s this almost impossible situation where you have to be chilled, laidback but also keen and demonstrate interest without seeming too emotionally invested all at the same time.

The easiest thing to cut through all the crap would be to ask a simple question like: “do you see this going anywhere in a couple of months?”. I mean it is so simple right?

But in practice the thought of even opening up such a conversation fills most people with dread. I think its a mixture of fear of rejection and fear of losing something that was mostly going well. Objectively, it’s not asking for a lot at all, but just an acknowledgement of some form of certainty and security, an acknowledgement that you can invest time and energy into that person. I’ve come to realize that for the right person it won’t be ‘too much’ or ‘too intense’. I’ve found if a person actually likes you, it’ll take A LOT to scare them off and a simple question like that will not be enough to scare them off.

At the end of the day, whether you do end up asking the question or not, if its not meant to be its not meant to be and you’re going to be okay no matter what happens. You are absolutely worthy of loving and caring for yourself. In short, just know you’re going to be just fine and everything will work out eventually.

The people that were meant for you will never miss you and those opportunities and people that pass you by were never meant for you.

Things I’ve learnt about Love at 24

I recently re read the autobiography of Dolly Alderton, “Everything I know about Love,” after writing about each year in her life she writes a chapter summary with all the things she learnt about love that year, and I thought I’d write my own version. I am by no means writing this as a definitive list about love, but only my thoughts about it right now. I’ll probably look back at this list and laugh in 10 years…

In no particular order, here we go:

If someone isn’t making an effort with you, give them the benefit of the doubt maybe once or twice, but then leave it. You can’t single-handedly force a relationship no matter how hard you try. When someone is pulling away from you, let them go. Resist the urge to put in more effort or work harder at it. You shouldn’t need to persuade someone to be with you.

Sometimes things just don’t work out, you could both be incredible people, but just not compatible and that’s not a reflection on either of you so don’t start wondering ‘what you did wrong’ or ‘how you could be better’.

The shape of your body or the figure on the scales has no bearing on whether you’re single or not. Losing weight won’t make you more loveable. We’re all already loveable and complete.

The love and support you get from your friends and the love and support you give your friends can be the most fulfilling relationships and make you realise there really are so many different types of love. Call your friends, tell them you love them and thank them for putting up with all your shit.

Don’t get your bikini wax if you don’t want to, men really do not give a shit about how hairy you are down there. (But if you want that Brazilian for yourself then go get it girl.)

Never ghost anyone, literally all it takes is a simple text explaining that you’re just not feeling it.

Listen to your gut, its never usually wrong. Even if you ignore the niggling feeling, it’ll eventually prove you right. Also listen to your friends, they have objective insights into how that other person is making you feel.

The first few months of dating should probably feel light and joyous. If you’re constantly overthinking, anxious and unsure, then it’s probably not the right fit. Maybe time to let go. Even though you might feel like its not right, it might take you a long time to action anything. That’s fine too, take your time, act when you’re ready.

Be honest with others and yourselves with what you want. Say what you want early on, sooner rather than than later. Talking about your feelings is bluddy hard and it takes a lot of courage but practice makes perfect and you’ll feel better for it after.

When your relationship ends, It’s okay to cry and be sad even if your relationship wasn’t made official or labelled, they still meant something to you and you still felt something. Your feelings are completely justified, no need to hold them back. It’s fine to mourn the loss of the potential future you could have had together.

The strongest love I’ll ever receive is probably that from my parents.

There’s no need to pretend like you don’t have feelings in order to be the ‘chill girl’, it’s okay if you’re not fine with ‘seeing how it goes’. We’re humans, not robots, we have feelings and that’s totally natural and absolutely justified. If someone can’t handle your feelings then that’s on them, never worry about being ‘too much’ or ‘too intense’.

Just because ‘on paper’ someone seems perfect for you, that’s not enough. It’s more important about how they make you feel. There’s a difference between the idea of someone that you have created/projected and what that person is like in real life.

Your life was fine before that person, and it’s going to be great when that person leaves your life too.

People will go on about self care and self love on irritating Instagram posts and captions, but it’s genuinely so important. Practice it, read about it, nurture it, watch your thoughts, observe your patterns, notice what makes you feel good. We are responsible for our own happiness.

Three new modern dating concepts I've recently learnt

So after a long hiatus I decided it’s time to write another blog post about dating.

I was out of the dating scene for a LONG time and in the last couple of months decided to get back on the horse... (pun intended)

Having recently experienced many dates from a mixture of apps and some set ups, I’ve come to my interim conclusion that modern dating is a complete shit show. But on the plus side, I’ve learnt some new terminology I can add to my 21st century dating dictionary.

  1. The Fizzle 

This happens when you’ve gone on 1 or 2 dates with someone, you enjoy yourself and you have stuff to talk about. It’s pleasant, there’s genuinely nothing wrong with the other person but there’s no real physical attraction there and you’re just not feeling it so naturally you let it fizzle ie. die a slow death.

Urban dictionary defines the ‘fizzle’:To slowly end a relationship through gradual excommunication. - pretty accurate.

With app dating it’s pretty common because you don’t really have much of a foundation or common ground apart from those couple of hours you’ve spent together so the time investment is pretty minimal and there’s no real obligation to see them again. I’m still never sure whether you’re supposed to be upfront about how you don’t really feel it or if the fizzle is the best way to handle it as I never really want to be that person who ghosts people. Often I’ve noticed it’s the really nice guys, the gents who would treat us well, the ones who get endearingly nervous around us we get put off by. Why? Genuinely have no idea- still trying to figure that out.

2. Breadcrumbing

This usually happens when you’re actually pretty into the guy but they just giving you mixed signals, you have an inkling that they’re a bit of a dick but you keep chasing after them anyway. It’s when you’re not really sure where you stand because they sometimes seem to be interested but then give you signs which suggest the contrary. Breadcrumbing occurs when people give you some attention here and there, enough to keep you curious or thinking about them but they’re honestly not that into you. Comes in the form of intermittent messages, Instagram likes, watching your instastories and occasionally sliding into your DMs. 

As my wise friend CB said, “you don’t want the crumbs, you want the loaf!”


I believe that this has some cross over with breadcrumbing. It’s where you’re keeping the ‘metaphorical seat warm for another girl to come along that they like better’. You’re basically an understudy preparing to go on stage before the star of the show turns up. I’ve definitely been on the bench a few times and it feels like shit and is kind of confusing actually - it wasn’t great for the self esteem. When I realise this is happening to me I with some heavy encouragement from my friends decide to leave the bench and move on to a pitch where I can be the star player. I think some people just want to have you as the option to sub on when the other players are busy. I think one of the problems with dating in a big city is that there’s just so much choice so the turnover of players is really quick which is why people feel they can do this.

I feel like the dating game is constantly changing and is pretty tiring so I’m off for a long break again, pretty interested to see what’s new when I return. Back to the status quo of early nights with my cat.

6 things I've learned getting back in the dating game after being perpetually single

I often get asked by my Asian relatives whether I have a boyfriend and if not why not? Is it because I'm too picky or too loud?

My answer has been the same for the past 3 years, a resounding No, I am still single and No I still do not know why I have been single for so long (probably because my eating disorder took up so much energy and most of the activities I committed to were female orientated and individualistic AND the fact I rarely go out out) so yeah that probably explains it.  

But most recently, I've had a spur of motivation to get back into the dating game. It is pretty tiring sometimes gets quite boring, having the same conversations with numerous people, having to swipe through people's profiles or to have people not reply to you after several conversations (admittedly I have been guilty of this too). I hate the small talk and the uncertainty of whether I'm just going to have my time wasted. I went on a flurry of dates (literally only a couple with a few people - but this is a lot for me) and was chatting to several people online. It definitely took me out of my normal routine to socialise in the week (definitely an extroverted introvert) and if I'm honest it has been  really fun for most of the time and given me and my friends A LOT of entertainment over the last couple of weeks. 

So here are 5 things I learnt....

1. App dating is hard

App dating is hard because you're having to make a connection with a stranger and so often I thought it felt a bit forced. You don't have the underlying friendship or solid foundation from which to build anything from and so while some of the dates I've been on have been fun and pleasant, often it's lacked real connection. It's hard to find the balance between going with your gut and giving things time to develop. 

2. I compare every prospective date to my closest friends

This is where I think being single for so long has slightly hindered me, I compare all my potential dates to my closest friends, friends who I feel comfortable with and who I can talk to anything about and so the benchmark is set a bit too high. I don't remember what it's like to have those awkward silences or even know what you're supposed to feel in the early stages of dating because I've been single for so long! Probably something to work on then... 

3. I am actually quite selfish

As caring as I can be, I've realised that I am also quite selfish. I've gotten so used to my own schedule and my own timetable, selfishly fitting my plans around someone else takes a while to adjust to. I sleep early and wake up early, so late night dates and after work dinners mess with my bed times (I literally have the same bed time as an 10 year old). Changing my schedule is quite a big sacrifice for me as I am just so used to things happening on my own terms with my own company. But for the right person I think I'd definitely be willing to compromise. 

4. Games are boring

The whole playing hard to get-esque dating games are so boring. Having to wonder whether someone likes me or wondering why hasn't he text me is just not good enough for me anymore. I've gotten to the stage where although I occasionally overthink and worry, if someone likes me they like me and they are literally not going to give a shit if I put that winky face emoji at the end of my message or not. If they think I text too much or am too 'keen' that's their problem and really not mine.  

5. Don't take shit personally

At first, if I didn't get a text back from someone or someone just doesn't seem to be interested, I was personally offended. How dare this person not like me? Why don't they like me? Maybe I'm not attractive enough- all the bullshit pops into my brain. But now I've realised that none of this is personal, it genuinely isn't me it's them (well most of the time...) Someone might not be interested because they've just gotten out of a relationship or they've started going out with one of their best friends, you just do not know what is happening in someone else's life. And again nothing happens TO you it happens FOR you. Every failed date is a funny story or a little lesson. 

6. Don't let fear be your guide

Probably the biggest one for me.  I have been really hurt in the past and that makes me not really trust people. Boys can be absolute shits sometimes and often I would be thinking about what might happen in the future, getting hurt, being embarrassed and that would stop me from pursuing something. Or I wouldn't want to text them again because that might make me seem to keen. I think just like in anything in life, there's not point acting or not acting from a place of fear. We shouldn't let the fact we might get 'ghosted' or someone might not like us to stop us pursuing someone we like. It might work out or it might not and that's fine, there are PLENTY of fish in the sea (admittedly a lot of them might be fish you really don't want) but STILL there are so many people out there better for us. 

The dating game has brought up some really interesting things for me, like the fact my ego likes to be fed (definitely working on this though). It's so interesting how I pine for a text back from someone I don't really want to be involved with but still want him to like me anyway. (WHY?!) Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself.... So please excuse me while I crawl back into my little shell, I've used up all my late nights and small talk for a few months. 

How I started to get out of the binge cycle

The cycling on binge eating is a hard one to break. I was stuck in it for about 2 years, eating healthy breakfasts/lunches then having a huge dinner or eating 'clean' in the week and then having 'cheat meals' on the weekend, starting all over again the next week. So while everyone's relationship with food is really different here's a list of things that really helped me which I wanted to share.

Change your response to the binge

For me the thing that really helped me was to stop was changing my response to a binge. Usually, I would start to panic and then start the dieting and restricting the next day, limiting what I ate and only eating 'healthy' foods no 'naughty' foods allowed. But this meant that the cravings came which again would result in a binge.

So instead of beating myself up after a binge, I would care for myself even more. I would paint my nails or do some restorative yoga, something which felt like a hug. The next day I would continue to eat normally. Listening to my body. 

Listen to your body

After a binge, I would try and eat normally and really try and tune into my body's needs. If my body wanted chocolate, I would feed it chocolate, if my body wanted salads and veggies, I would give it that. If I wanted to go for a run I would go. The intention behind eating well or moving my body was not about losing weight but about listening to what I needed. Our bodies are so intelligent and it's easy to forget this, always allowing the mind to take over. 

When I first started listening to my body, I for sure put on some weight. My body wanted all the foods I deprived it of, all the foods I would restrict like crisps, cookies, chocolate. But then it started to settle down. 

Somedays it is still really hard to know what my body wants. I can sometimes be walking around a supermarket repeatedly asking my body what it feels like and have no answer.  But it takes practice, I've closed my ears to my body's real needs for such a long time and I'm slowly developing the trust I have with my body and believing what it needs. 

Ask yourself what you really need

For me, I went to food when I felt lonely. I used it to mask my real feelings. So after a binge, I would then journal, and ask myself how I felt. Even before I was about to eat 10 cookies, sometimes when I had enough awareness I would even make a cup of tea before a binge or again write down how I felt before the binge. Like a lot of things the  key is awareness and this takes practice.

I fell of the bandwagon so many times and continually had to keep working to help myself get better. So be kind and patient with yourself. Like you would a friend or a loved one. I think that the relationship we have with food can be very complicated, with lots of different factors impacting it, so we have to slowly unravel and unpick the deep rooted patterns we have created. It may take time, but it's absolutely doable.  


The Countdown to Summer

As we break out of the Winter and permanently escape the clutches of the Beast from the East, it's getting warmer, summer is nearing which means I am seeing more "Bikini body in 10 weeks",  "15 exercises to give you abs," and "Get your summer body ready" *sh!t. The constant focus on our looks and our physique by mainstream media can definitely have a detrimental impact on mental health.

Magazines and newspapers, even some social media influencers who are pushing quick fix weight loss tips/diet supplements need to stop. It actually makes me so angry to have to be bombarded on my walk to work with constant images of airbrushed and clearly digitally enhanced women selling the latest fat loss tip or fad workout. 

There is no place for airbrushing or digitally enhancing women's bodies anymore. It creates unrealistic expectations of what women's bodies should look like.  Industries thrive on making the consumers feel bad about themselves and we need to try and break out of this and really be conscious of what we subconsciously or consciously consume in our social media, magazines, TV and online.

Even though we know that most of the photos in magazines have been digitally altered, it still sends us messages that that is what we should look like, especially if we want to be as 'successful' as all the women in the magazines or with thousands of followers on instagram. I'm guilty of editing photos to smooth out my skin or remove a spot in the past, I mean I even played around with cinching my waist in, but now really I don't see the point, I get spots, I have rolls of fat and extra skin, I am a REAL person and I am WAY more than the blemishes on my face or unflattering angles.

According to BEAT 1.2 million people suffer from eating disorders in the UK and this figure is increasing year by year.  It's not bluddy surprising given the obsession with Victoria's Secret Models or even the much curvier Kardashians in today's society. We often forget that these people have had a lot of help through plastic surgery or really expensive personal trainers and food diets. They make everything about appearance. Not intelligence or kindness or all the other qualities and attributes people have apart from what they look like.

Something that I have to keep reminding myself is genetics.  In the past I have tried to slim down so I could look like the girls in magazines. But our bodies are made completely differently and we have to respect that.  No matter how hard people try and diet they will never be able to get the figure of someone else simply because of GENETICS. If you're 5 ft 4  (like me) no matter how much you want it, you will not be able to change your body dimensions to look like Karlie Kloss who is over 6ft!

In addition, when I was at my skinniest I still wasn't happy, I still had feelings of insecurity. We often think that if we lose weight ,our lives will change and we will no longer be jealous or feel inadequate but this is just not the case. Our focus is all wrong, we need to focus on our mental wellbeing first, our feelings of inadequacy and comparison will slowly start to fade away, not all the time but enough to stop wanting to change our bodies to look like others.

There has indeed been a big movement in the industry to use bigger models. While I am absolutely for  the success that some larger models are having, such as the gorgeous Ashley Graham, there doesn't really seem to be anything in the middle in mainstream media for people who are neither skinny nor more 'plus size'. Additionally, these women are still airbrushed and digitally enhanced with bigger breasts but a small waist, which again brings the focus onto the physical.

I have recently started to delete my Instagram on days where I am feeling a little bit vulnerable to comparison. Because this happens, there will be days when you are absolutely 'feeling yourself', feeling mighty fine about your body and your life, but some days where you just wake up and it's the complete opposite. It's on the days when you feel vulnerable that you need to look after yourself just that little bit more. 

So for once this year, before I go to Bali, I will not be partaking in my usual pre-holiday detox in a desperate attempt to "look good in a bikini" .  No that doesn't mean I'm going to stuff my face with junk food (as that's not a form of self love either). It means I'm going to really try and listen to my body and try and feed it what it wants whether that be vegetables and fruit to cake and cookies. 

So let's not get sucked into this whole 'Summer Body' phase, let's look after our bodies all the time, not just so we are physically healthy so we can do all the things we love but the mental aspect too. A 'bikini body' won't make us happy if we don't love ourselves or see our worth not just by what size swimsuit we fit into or how many abs we see on our stomachs. 



It's time to share

There's a part of my life that I never really speak about but am now ready to share and talk about, is the fact that I struggled with an eating disorder for 3 years during my time at University and subsequent issues with disordered eating. 

The disordered eating and terrible relationship I had with my own body permeated all aspects of my life. It started to affect my social life as I would try and plan my week around food and didn't want the temptation of overeating, it affected relationships I had with my girlfriends, especially those who were naturally slim and who could eat anything they wanted. It affected my approach to exercise, I would exercise when I was exhausted and ill to burn off calories, rather than for the enjoyment of moving my body. 

For some of my closest friends and family, this may come as a shock, especially as usually I'm pretty upbeat and in good spirits. It's taken me so long to muster up the courage to speak about this openly, fear of being judged and also ashamed, for me an eating disorder felt indulgent and wasteful. So you can imagine it got quite lonely holding onto such a big secret. I've been sitting on this blog post for a while and kept putting off sharing it until I didn't want it hanging over me any longer. It was always easier to talk to strangers about my eating disorder than friends, and so much time passed there was never a time I felt I could bring it up. 

After not speaking about it for several years it felt like time to share it with everyone else. After all, it has had a huge impact on the person I am today and was a big part of my life. Keeping it hidden felt like I always created barriers with people, like I never let them know the whole me even if I told them most things going on in my life. 

So now that I've left all that behind me and have a much better relationship with food and my body, I want to share because it feels like I'm shedding a layer and really moving on from that time of my life.

I don't remember the first time I made myself sick after I had eaten. But for 3 years on and off I was in the vicious cycle of dieting, bingeing making myself sick and repeat. I would choose foods I knew would come up the best like ice cream and always feeling so awful after.

It made going back home difficult for me, as an Asian family, our connection was based around food and at meal times, they'd always be so much food and so I'd end up eating until I was so so full. There would always be plentiful snacks and ice cream in our house as well and when you deprive yourself of foods, you often get cravings which leads to bingeing.

This cycle continued until my final year of university. I had an Easter Ball and was so worried about fitting into my dress for that whole week I was super strict with my diet and deprived myself of all the food I really wanted. The day before it I remember walking home from university to my flat in Kings Cross and buying all the food I really wanted, specifically a toastie, a huge bag of crisps, some chocolate and granola. I ate it all. Then the panic set in and I started trying to make myself sick, panicking again because not everything was coming back up.  The next day I woke up and burst the blood vessels in my eye. I had to lie to everyone, even my best friends and family, that it popped because I had sneezed so hard. 

That was the turning point for me, the clear message that enough was enough. I was truly damaging my body and after that I never made myself sick again.

So while this was a huge step forward, my relationship with food was still as bad as ever. I was still bingeing and feeling guilty about what I ate and dieting. It was all unsustainable. 

During that time last year, I met my friend on a surf trip in Morocco and one a beach walk we started talking about our experiences with our bodies and food. I hadn't known her for long but I think she was the first person I had spoken openly about my eating disorder with. 

Soon after that I started seeing a Counsellor to help me find freedom with myself as I was sick of the constant dieting and bingeing cycle. I was tired of feeling shit about my body, worrying about how many calories I was eating, looking at myself in the mirror and pinching the fat on my body. Enough was Enough. Especially as a yoga teacher, I needed to practice what I preached. I couldn't share authentically with my students about self love and acceptance if I wasn't there myself.

I've learnt a lot since then and a lot has started to shift in my life since doing this work. I learnt that I was looking to food for comfort and connection. I used food to numb my feelings so I would feel full rather than feel my emotions. Food was a friend, a companion at times when I was lonely. I didn't realise that the thoughts I had about my body and my relationship with food were not 'normal'. I was so used to talking to myself so harshly and it became the norm and I became desensitised to it. 

I still get moments of complete insecurity, I still compare myself to others and occasionally wish I could have someone else's body. But now I catch myself. If I'm on Instagram and start to feel bad about my body, I quickly put my phone down. If I'm with my friends and start comparing myself unfavorably to them, I literally say in my head 'STOP, Enough.' 

I've been able to cultivate better relationships with girlfriends without any competition or jealousy about how they look and also better friendships too just because I'm becoming more open and finding it easier to express what I'm feeling.

I think that this is a really widespread issue. I'm no expert I don't know how to solve it for everyone, eating disorders are so complex and individual. But what I do know is that I want to be there to support other people and just chat. I hope I can help even even one or two people. So if you're ever feeling down or want to share something, I'm a good listener. Sometimes it just feels good just to get  stuff off your chest. No judgments.

So if you've managed to get to the end of this rambling post, it's been cathartic and thank you for reading. I feel lighter knowing that you know me more. 


How to stay afloat in a job which isn't your passion

While I always see my fellow yoga teachers post inspirational quotes like "do what you love, do what you do" and "do what you love and never work a day in your life," to me, at this moment in time, it is not realistic. I've been trying so hard to find what my 'purpose' is and I'm still pretty lost and really do not know what I want to do.

While I do find the law interesting and exciting at times, it certainly is not my ideal job, as a trainee it's hard to manage my workload, so it’s difficult to plan. I'll often be the last to know of any conference calls I have to sit in on and as a result will have to cancel plans I've had in the diary for a while. In addition to this, I find it challenging sitting down at my desk all day with little opportunity to see the outside of the office walls.

1.       Don't compare yourself on social media.

Social media portrays the highlights of people's lives. Often on my Instagram feed there are tonnes of yogis and fitness bloggers posting pictures of themselves in pyjamas at home with the caption "work life" or storying sponsored events they’ve been invited to attend. Of course, this looks so much more appealing than a desk job. But these yoga teachers are also my friends, and I know first-hand the hardships they face, such as instable income and often for new teachers, uncertain working hours too. In an Instagram era it seems as if so many people are giving up on their office jobs to travel the world in a converted van and having the time of their lives. But we don't see the behind the scenes, the sacrifices they’ve made and in the long run, we don't know how long they will be able to sustain such a lifestyle.

2.        Have some non-negotiables at work

Unless I am absolutely swamped by deadlines, one of my non negotiables at work is to take a full hour for lunch or minimum 45 minutes. This gives me time to either meet a friend or go for a walk, meaning that at least I get to see the sunshine for a while. Maybe bring in a desk plant (depending on your supervisor) and have little tea breaks with your colleagues once in a while just to check up on each other.

3.       Constantly remind yourself of the benefits

There are always going to be pros and cons to a job, it's cyclical with a plethora of ups and downs.  When I have days at work where I've actually enjoyed myself, I will write this down or tell my friend. This will help me find a pattern in the work or subject matter I really enjoy. It's also something I very subtly hint to my supervisors; in the hope they will give me more of it. As a trainee, you can't demand what type of work you do, but subtle hints are useful and it shows enthusiasm. In addition, think about the other benefits of your job, does it pay well- allowing you to pursue things you love outside of work? Do you have great colleagues and a good company culture? Do you get on with your boss? Etc. I honestly don't believe we can have it all (feel free to disagree with me), things could always be better or worse and so I think we should focus on making sure that the benefits of the job outweigh the pros.

4.       Have someone you can talk to about your work

It helps to have a vent. Although no one likes someone who is always complaining, an occasional rant always helps me. Have a friend you can trust either inside or outside of your company where you can really express how you are feeling helps. In addition, talking to people in the same industry at the same level as you can make a difference, often a lot of people are going through the same hardships/challenges as you. It's important to have support and camaraderie; this potentially takes the edge off any discontent you feel. I have fellow trainees that also have the occasional hard time and we support each other, chatting and making light of our predicaments. Sharing is caring.

5.       Think of it as a stepping stone

If you're genuinely hating life at work (this isn't me just for the record- I have enjoyed some aspects of my job), then know that this is temporary. If a job is causing you so much stress and upset, it really is not worth it, if 5/7 days you're unhappy, then that's 70% of your week being upset. No job is worth that. Additionally, you could think of the job as a stepping stone, giving you skills or experience that will help you in the future.  If you're working long hours, perhaps you can look at it as developing resilience. If you don't get on with your boss this will teach you how to manage and work with different people. All these things we may see as 'negative' are actually providing us with transferable skills we can utilise inside and outside the workplace.

6.       Plan your holidays well

Time off is really important.

If you're feeling run down and ill, then feel free to take a sick day. You are entitled to these and will not have the occasional day off held against you. Even if you can't afford to go on holiday, make plans to do things you usually wouldn't have time to do like a really long run or cooking a meal for yourself.

I'm still young and I have a lot of time to figure out what I want to do and I am going to use the next year and a half to learn as much as possible as I can from the people I work with, from the law and get closer to deciding what I want.